For a long time I was seeking help to manage my anxiety, the problem was, I didn’t know where to start. I had asked my family for help, but unfortunately they seemed to be at a loss too. I knew I wanted to see a professional, but I had anxiety about getting help for my anxiety.
I finally made my own appointment with a psychiatrist, which was my first step. So, on my birthday this year, that’s what I did. I went to go see a someone for help.
I sat shaking in the waiting room, though I was fortunate to have Christina there with me for support. I didn’t know what to expect, and I suppose that was where my anxiety came from.
In all honesty, it wasn’t the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had, but I could tell they just wanted to help. Being honest with the doctor was the hard part, because I’m not used to looking at anyone in the eye and admitting I’m not okay. With peers and friends it’s different. I guess it just felt real, and that becomes scary.
He diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and gave me two prescriptions to help manage my anxiety symptoms, but he highly recommend I see a psychologist so I can learn better coping methods.
I’ve currently been clean from self harm, since October, 2017, but I’ll admit, there have been times where I was tempted, and even pulled out and played with the blade I used to use. So I made an appointment, knowing I could use the new coping skills.
When I first started going to therapy, I was quiet. I did a lot of listening, and fidgeting, but my therapist was really nice, and super relatable. She gave me a fidget toy for me to keep, and bring to appointments. I keep it with me all the time.
So far things are good and I’m so blessed to have the therapist that I have. I had to pause my therapy sessions during the move because I was short on money, but hopefully will start getting back into it regular appointments.
I really encourage you guys to consider professional help if you need it. It’s not always easy getting there, but it’s certainly worth the results if you get kind, and understanding professionals to team up with you.
I’ve always had a support system behind me, my friends have always been there for me, and I will always need that, but professional help has given me a game plan for my support system to work on with me.
-Tori
