tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44199870515002904472024-03-13T09:21:40.076-07:00Stop Look Love YourselfTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-79185376555727478392019-11-13T06:28:00.003-08:002019-11-13T07:48:15.593-08:00Physical Health and Mental HealthSo, I’ve always been transparent with my followers, and I want to talk a little bit about what I’ve been dealing with the past few years.<br />
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I am not the healthiest of people. My mental health is definitely something I struggle with, but on top of that, I have some physical health problems that have taken some adjusting to live with.<br />
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I am 23 years old, and I suffer from undiagnosed chronic, invisible illness. The only things I know for sure about my health, are the symptoms I deal with daily.<br />
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To give you an idea, up until 2015, I was very healthy. In fact, I rarely got sick beyond the common cold. It wasn’t until I came down with mono, hepatitis A, strep throat, a tooth infection, and had a sprained ankle, within 6 weeks of each other, that I actually experienced a decline. At this time I was 18 years old.<br />
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All of the things mentioned eventually went away, but after that, I never fully recovered. It was hard to bounce back. I slept in more, and I still felt exhausted. I’d fall asleep at work, and I acquired a pale color to my face. My dark circles under my eyes have never gone away, and along with that, I started to experience a lot more symptoms.<br />
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On a daily basis, I live with chronic pain, especially when I’m having a flare up. I get sick almost every time I eat, to the point where I have to find okay times to eat while at work, so I can remain effective in my job position. I have heart palpitations that I’ve had since I was a preteen, and dizzy spells that leave me light headed and my heart racing. My joints pop painfully, my hair has fallen out out in clumps in the past. I have a hard time maintaining appropriate levels of vitamin D, and so on.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OkufZVb9WWaMA303lla9m1u78yuXnAN_NWAFO-Gnrla5eZk4nEFCPFu51C4wix6EWgtrNiB2CRD8nibVwPIJHWkD-p44y9VB_oQgDQ2QJ1ubOyHDmgYjJ1jjsXyH_cisZLoDMB2_0dOJ/s1600/image0.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OkufZVb9WWaMA303lla9m1u78yuXnAN_NWAFO-Gnrla5eZk4nEFCPFu51C4wix6EWgtrNiB2CRD8nibVwPIJHWkD-p44y9VB_oQgDQ2QJ1ubOyHDmgYjJ1jjsXyH_cisZLoDMB2_0dOJ/s320/image0.jpeg" width="179" /></a>A little over a year ago, I got a least one answer for some of my pain. For a few years prior, I had begun experiencing pan in my hip that got increasingly worse over time. I kept thinking “it’ll go away, I just need to take it easy.” But I eventually realized I was wrong. It took 4 doctors, one of which told me “you’re young, there’s probably nothing wrong, you’ll just have to live with it” to get a diagnosis. When I finally got diagnosed, I was relieved, not because something was wrong with me, but because I finally knew what it was. I had a labral tear in my hip. The option I was given, was surgery, and I took it.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Post surgery photo pictured on the right)</span></b><br />
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One year after that surgery, and I still experience pain in my hip and it’s one more thing I’m continuing to look into, to improve my quality of life.<br />
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I’ve been to two cardiologists, a rheumatologist, several general practitioners, and so far, 6 orthopedic surgeons, with the referral to see another. It has been years, and I have very little answers and no relief.<br />
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It has been frustrating to say the least, and at one point, I used to go into doctors offices optimistic and excited that they might finally find what’s wrong. That hope still lingers, but it’s very rare that I walk away from an appointment feeling confident that we’re going in the right direction. Honestly, the last few appointments have left me in tears.<br />
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The struggle of finding answers takes a toll on my mental health. Over the years of searching, I’ve found myself in various situations of disappointment. Sometimes I think I might never have answers, and maybe that’s true, but for my mental healths sake, I keep looking.<br />
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A part of the difficulty, with dealing with invisible, chronic illness, especially undiagnosed, is that I’ll often run into people who don’t believe me. “You look fine to me.”or “You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you.” I’ve heard those before in reference to my mental health, too. It’s not encouraging, as most of you know, it’s invalidating.<br />
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Your physical health takes a toll on your mental health. It makes you feel hopeless in already difficult situations. Neither one is more important than the other. We have to take care of ourselves in every way we can, but they do effect each other tremendously.<br />
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My mental health has effected my physical health before as well. Making me less inclined to eat, drink water, or take my medications. It's a cycle we have to do our best to stay out of.<br />
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I want to be transparent, and show my support for other mental health warriors who also deal with chronic illness. As they are both big parts of my life, I want SLLY to be a reflection of me, and my passion for health all around the board.<br />
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Stop Look Love Yourself's primary focus is mental health, but I may mention chronic illness now and then.<br />
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If anyone else deals with chronic illness, please feel free to reach out to me at any time!<br />
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-Tori LynnTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-28667412094707382342019-11-08T07:28:00.003-08:002019-11-08T07:28:59.525-08:00180Do you ever feel like you've got a grip on things, and finally get settled into feeling good, when all of a sudden, you feel everything clawing it's way back up?<br />
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That's where I am today, and I keep trying to tell myself that today is just one of those days, and it will pass. I don't have to allow a bad day, or this feeling, stretch into the rest of my week, or month, and so on.<br />
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Self talk is important, but it's very discouraging, and hard to stay on track, when you feel like it's coming from inside. It feels like you can't possibly block it out, or escape it, when it's inside of you.<br />
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This isn't one of those feel good entries. It's more like, I understand, and I get it too. A bad day doesn't equal a bad life, logically I know this, but no amount of logic eases my compulsive feelings, or uprising anxiety and insecurities.<br />
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Today is good compared to my worst day thus far. I'd take this, and all it's feelings, over that day, every time. I'm grateful for how far I've come since then. Most would probably even say I've done a 180, and I'd agree with them. Not because everything is perfect, but because, just a few months ago, I was at the lowest point I have ever been in my entire life. I was on the phone with my mother, and I told her I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to live.<br />
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With all that being said, just because I'm not at my very worst today, doesn't mean today's feelings are invalid.<br />
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So yes, bad days happen, and so do worst days. Sometimes it feels like you can't escape, and it's hard to talk yourself away from getting trapped there. Sometimes small things hurt a lot. That's okay. Today's struggles are valid, even if they're not nearly as bad as yesterday's.<br />
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I needed to get this out today. I haven't blogged in awhile, and hopefully I'll be putting out more content soon. Ideally, something more positive.<br />
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Sending you my love xoxo<br />
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<br />Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-16164810763553833142018-07-25T10:08:00.001-07:002018-07-25T10:08:01.397-07:00My Mental Health Help Experience<div> For a long time I was seeking help to manage my anxiety, the problem was, I didn’t know where to start. I had asked my family for help, but unfortunately they seemed to be at a loss too. I knew I wanted to see a professional, but I had anxiety about getting help for my anxiety.</div><div><br></div><div> I finally made my own appointment with a psychiatrist, which was my first step. So, on my birthday this year, that’s what I did. I went to go see a someone for help.</div><div><br></div><div> I sat shaking in the waiting room, though I was fortunate to have Christina there with me for support. I didn’t know what to expect, and I suppose that was where my anxiety came from.</div><div><br></div><div> In all honesty, it wasn’t the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had, but I could tell they just wanted to help. Being honest with the doctor was the hard part, because I’m not used to looking at anyone in the eye and admitting I’m not okay. With peers and friends it’s different. I guess it just felt real, and that becomes scary.</div><div><br></div><div> He diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and gave me two prescriptions to help manage my anxiety symptoms, but he highly recommend I see a psychologist so I can learn better coping methods.</div><div><br></div><div> I’ve currently been clean from self harm, since October, 2017, but I’ll admit, there have been times where I was tempted, and even pulled out and played with the blade I used to use. So I made an appointment, knowing I could use the new coping skills.</div><div><br></div><div> When I first started going to therapy, I was quiet. I did a lot of listening, and fidgeting, but my therapist was really nice, and super relatable. She gave me a fidget toy for me to keep, and bring to appointments. I keep it with me all the time.</div><div><br></div><div> So far things are good and I’m so blessed to have the therapist that I have. I had to pause my therapy sessions during the move because I was short on money, but hopefully will start getting back into it regular appointments.</div><div><br></div><div> I really encourage you guys to consider professional help if you need it. It’s not always easy getting there, but it’s certainly worth the results if you get kind, and understanding professionals to team up with you.</div><div><br></div><div> I’ve always had a support system behind me, my friends have always been there for me, and I will always need that, but professional help has given me a game plan for my support system to work on with me.</div><div><br></div><div>-Tori</div><div><br></div> Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-60976399203319464822017-12-01T18:03:00.001-08:002017-12-01T18:03:09.131-08:00Paulo - New Earth Nutrition<p style="text-align: center; margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>Written by guest blogger Paulo - founder of NewEarthNutrition on Instagram</b>.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><img id="id_c9be_7a7_e8fe_35fc" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-0Bzu7pFna5E/WiIJ3HrH0RI/AAAAAAAAAJM/w50oso3j3ckWQSo0rFKWMhC4uoSyf-7MACHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 354px; height: auto;"><br><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> We’re all suckers for inspirational before & after weight loss stories but this is not one of them. This is my after the after story.<br><br> See, Nobody really talks about what happens after the fact. Diet culture dictates that we should vilify the “befores” & glorify the “afters”. The “befores” are typically stigmatized despite their efforts or underlying medical condition. They’re all just lazy right? And the “afters” are celebrated despite the hidden detrimental costs of their success. ⠀ ⠀<br>⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀<br> And we all want to be celebrated of course so we try & “improve” ourselves. However, we usually approach a weight loss journey as something static that ends after losing a certain amount of lbs. But it doesn’t really end there. <br><br> I struggled with my weight & my body image issues for the majority of my waking life. I really hated myself so I thought I should change myself through discipline. I wanted to be an “after” story so bad I did things that are uncharacteristic of me.<br><br> I fasted for weeks on end, drank various concoctions of cleansing juices, & I did extreme diets and exercises. I forced my body into submission & eventually I turned my life around. Before losing over a hundred lbs I was miserable & depressed. After losing weight I became depressed & miserable. ⠀ ⠀<br>⠀ <br> In essence, nothing really changed. Despite the superficial bodily improvements & hollow approval from others I still felt that I was the same piece of crap person. Still, I wasn’t “enough”<br><br> We strive for optimal weight because it’s fundamentally about our health. But somewhere along the way we start doing it for the wrong reasons. And this pursuit, this grueling abuse that I’ve put my body through for the sake of an “ideal image” & for the hopes that maybe others will love me seemed to have caused more problems than what it intended to solve. ⠀<br><br> I ended up with a dysfunctional relationship with my friends, my family, with food, & most especially with myself.<br><br> So yeah, Just know that all that glitters is not necessarily gold. Strive for health but do it out of self love and not self hatred.</span></p>Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-82611602931233088512017-10-19T19:13:00.004-07:002017-10-19T19:14:03.037-07:00What It Means To Be In Recovery Mental health recovery. What does it look like? What does it mean to be in recovery? I think there's a popular misunderstanding of how recovery is supposed to go when it comes to mental illness. People tend to think, that when you're in recovery, you're all better. <b>This is wrong. </b>Choosing recovery does not mean that everything is better, it means you've decided to do what you need, to get there.<br />
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The definition of recovery:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/yGUuMIqjIrU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Daan Stevens</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">re·cov·er·y</b><br />
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<span class="lr_dct_ph" style="background-color: white;">/rəˈkəv(ə)rē/</span></div>
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<i style="background-color: white;">noun</i></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><strong>1</strong>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.</span></div>
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<b>2</b>. the action or <u>process</u> of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.</div>
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I underlined process for a reason. Recovery is not something that you just decide to wake up and have. It is something that you have to go through, and work for. It is a process.</div>
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Think about someone who is in recovery, whether from an injury, physical illness, or procedure. There are certain things these people need to do, to help themselves regain their strength. Some even need physical therapists to help them get to where they need to be.</div>
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Mental health and physical health are not so different. They both require forms of self care, dedication to getting well, and support from others. Is some cases, medication, and therapy are needed.</div>
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Just because people are in recovery, doesn't mean there wont be struggles. Recovery is a vulnerable place. You've gone through a lot and you've chosen to get better; to dedicate your time to this process. </div>
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Just like physical health, mental health can have set backs. They happen to even the most dedicated, but recovery isn't going to be a straight line upwards to your goal. I say this a lot, because it is true. Recovery looks more like ups and downs, zig-zags, and loops all over the chart. You're learning along the way, and that is okay. Recovery is something you have to choose, and aim for every day. So, even if you have set backs, or relapses, you haven't failed. You have a whole new opportunity to wake up tomorrow and start fresh. That is how it goes. Strength isn't in getting everything right the first time, it's not getting it right, and trying again anyway.</div>
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Recovery is a place where healing happens. Where you give both your body and your mind the attention it needs. Understand that healing happens at a different pace for everyone.<br />
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-ToriLynn</div>
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fdkdk<br />
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<tr><td class="lr_dct_nyms_ttl" style="font-style: italic; padding: 0px 3px 0px 0px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Th</span></td><td style="padding: 0px;"><strong style="color: #222222; font-size: small;">2</strong>the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.</td></tr>
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Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-41433309188260246852017-10-18T17:58:00.000-07:002017-10-21T11:21:08.891-07:00Today Is A Bad Day<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;" id="id_2e38_de0a_7f4a_5b3f"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/6SNbWyFwuhk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">nikko macaspac</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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Today is one of those days for me. The kind where you wake up with unshakable anxiety. It looms over you through your day, making getting out of bed, or getting work done, sound like it just might be too much for you to handle right now. Today, I felt like I was drowning, and no one could see me or help me.<br>
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Today, I slept in until 1:00. Not because I was tired (which is unusual for me to not feel exhausted), but because I kept forcing myself back to sleep, hoping the next time I woke up, I'd wake up without the anxiety. It didn't happen, and by 1:00 I knew I had to get up and do something. My thought's wouldn't just stop, slow down, go away, leave me alone. Why is it, when my mind finally decides to focus, it focuses on everything I don't need to be thinking about?<br>
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I'm currently in between jobs, my summer job ended and I am waiting to hear back from my work interest, so I don't have a current work obligation. I often spend my free time working on SLLY to keep myself busy and productive. I guess you can say that's what I'm doing now.<br>
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Honestly, sometimes I don't feel fit to be talking about recovery. On these days, I doubt myself a lot. I have to remind myself that you don't have to have everything together to make a difference, and you don't have to be ahead of everyone in your road to recovery, to promote it. It's true, and it's true for everyone I talk to. I am no exception to this truth, and neither are you.<br>
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Today, is a bad day. I have those too. In fact, I have those often. I often times talk to people, asking me how I am so "happy" all the time, or how I figured out how to love myself. I tell them, the truth is, I'm not happy all the time, and I don't always love myself. I've come a long way for sure, but there's sometimes I just feel like giving up on everything. I feel unmotivated, emotionally and physically exhausted, and sometimes I hate my body. Things are better than they used to be, I will admit that, but I'm still in the middle of my journey. I had to make the decision every day, that I was going to encourage myself, and give my body the love and care it needs to get to where I want to be.<br>
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I'm no better than anyone else who struggles with these things, I'm just in a different place with different situations and circumstances.<br>
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Today may not have been a good day, not in the slightest, but I still deserve a good tomorrow, and that's what I'm going to be aiming for. When I have bad days like this, tomorrow is literally all I have. Every single day is potential for a good one, and that's enough for me right now.<br>
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Today is a bad day, tomorrow will be better, but if tomorrow isn't better, I will appreciate today.<br>
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-ToriLynnTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-27559259470914943082017-10-13T17:47:00.001-07:002017-10-13T17:47:30.028-07:00It's Not You, It's My Anxiety Anxiety is hard to explain to those who do not understand it, and unfortunately, those who do not suffer from it, don't hear about it enough to know the effect it can have, so I would always find myself making excuses so not to offend people.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/E_TDi3sCuEo?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Xavier Sotomayor</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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I remember once, I had to excuse myself from a graduation party due to an anxiety attack. I disappeared for an hour while my boyfriend at the time, mingled with all his friends and family, and I was closed up in his room simply trying to breathe. I was embarrassed that I couldn't hold myself together, and was so afraid that people would think that I was being rude or antisocial. My boyfriend understood, but would everyone else understand that, "It's not you, it's my anxiety."<br />
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I've canceled plans with friends because of anxiety. Whether the anxiety was over getting to where I needed to go, or simply just meeting with them. I'd always feel so terrible, and pray they didn't think that I don't like them. That's not true at all, in fact, "It's not you, it's my anxiety."<br />
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It's never personal, but I always find it difficult to explain. I don't want people to be upset when I need to excuse myself from social situations, or if I can't meet up that day because I'm having an anxiety attack. Anxiety likes to control me, to tell me what I can and cannot do, and although I try to cope and fight it, sometimes I can't win. For other people, understanding this might be hard.<br />
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We don't talk about mental illness enough for those who don't struggle with it to truly understand the effects it can have on someone. We treat mental illness so differently than physical illness, but really, they're not much different.<br />
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My anxiety causes distress. It sends waves of nausea through my body and makes it hard to breathe. I can't focus, I can't function. My ability to cope has left the building... So sometimes, I say that I'm sick. Because although I'm experiencing anxiety, I feel sick. I am sick.<br />
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When someone has the flu, and they cancel plans, we are so quick to be forgiving. We need to make it better known, that mental illness of any sort, has physical affects on you and your ability to function as well as a very real impact on your mental state. Just because it's your mind, doesn't mean it isn't important.<br />
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It's time to talk about it, it's time to understand it. So please, realize, if I need some space, "It's not you, it's my anxiety."<br />
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-Tori LynnTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-60814656379630444532017-10-13T17:26:00.000-07:002017-10-13T17:26:11.144-07:00Low Self Esteem Mental illness is known for attacking your self esteem. It is one of the things it likes to take from you first. It strips you of your confidence, tells you that you aren't enough, and doesn't care about your logic or anyone else's. It can and will tear you down, regardless of the good things about yourself.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Ma7V_7hK-zTEw5uoc3wkSFBSHmqvHF9rjvMPBu-a8UnG1NuLw5G0hTD_tDAqcXNfn_BNVJTokuotD64eFd0-_u3V5EyS2MdCzVfgB_h5r0oZJf4nJfZdFj-sEX-iOuThFcTa3LBxwbJK/s1600/abigail-keenan-27295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Ma7V_7hK-zTEw5uoc3wkSFBSHmqvHF9rjvMPBu-a8UnG1NuLw5G0hTD_tDAqcXNfn_BNVJTokuotD64eFd0-_u3V5EyS2MdCzVfgB_h5r0oZJf4nJfZdFj-sEX-iOuThFcTa3LBxwbJK/s320/abigail-keenan-27295.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/99C5lrAyxpQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Abigail Keenan</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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I fit a lot of societies standards for beauty, so often times, body positivity, or general discussion about my struggle with my self image or self esteem, isn't always received well, but it's still something I struggle with.</div>
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The thing about mental illness and low self esteem though, is that it doesn't care what you look like. It doesn't care what you have, how attractive you are or funny you are. It doesn't care if you wear all the nicest clothes or make up. Just like mental illness doesn't care about how "good" your life is, it also doesn't care about how "good" you look. It will still impact and affect your life, your mind, and your emotions, regardless.</div>
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It will make you doubt everything you once loved about yourself and additionally, make you feel bad for doing so.</div>
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Anytime I found myself expressing low self esteem, I would have people tell me "you have no reason to feel that way." I knew that their intentions were probably good, but it made me feel like they were invalidating what I was going through. As if I was wrong for the way I was feeling about myself. So I eventually stopped trying to talk about it.</div>
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I didn't always have a low self image. When I was growing up I was actually pretty comfortable with my body. It seemed like when the anxiety and depression came around, that's when I found myself worrying about how I looked. Even now I struggle with it.</div>
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I've been told to eat more, because "you look sick". and "you have no curves." "Put some meat on your bones." I've been told "if you exercise you could lose your carb tummy." or "squats could help you tone out your butt." I've been told I look prettier when I smile and I've been told "you should get your tooth fixed. I've had people say "you don't need make up to look beautiful" then others tell me "you look sick, or tired, are you okay?" when I don't wear any. I've had people say "you have a thigh gap, that's not healthy." but isn't that what society wanted? These are the things, other people have said.</div>
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Then I think to myself, my smile is crooked, my tooth isn't right. I should lose some weight, but then wont I look sick? My boobs are too small, and my hips are too big. I have stretch marks on my butt and legs and damnit, I have scars. My face is too round, my nose is too big, my eyes are too small. My hair isn't blonde enough, my acne is showing. I have dips in my hips so my pants just don't look right. My nails always break so my hands just aren't pretty. What even is my eye color? Grey? Green? I laugh too loud, I talk too much, I can't do things right. I can't make it stop!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_jiCGrTfz3h1r3VJIkEACcPtWfpfejQ_iLACJFbmJYou7F9ZriwZP-yhWzoGylS2nmDyVF-9-Rd7Hn0R7ESGZZlHJ-Vn0nfr3BHJ-Ub6mS2ffnfwulyIDz6zB_jO3ODaptD9Gox_7kk7/s1600/milada-vigerova-7276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1520" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_jiCGrTfz3h1r3VJIkEACcPtWfpfejQ_iLACJFbmJYou7F9ZriwZP-yhWzoGylS2nmDyVF-9-Rd7Hn0R7ESGZZlHJ-Vn0nfr3BHJ-Ub6mS2ffnfwulyIDz6zB_jO3ODaptD9Gox_7kk7/s320/milada-vigerova-7276.jpg" width="304" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/kT0tsYZ2YE0?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Milada Vigerova</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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Mental illness... it targets whomever it wants, it doesn't care about your social standing, your good grades, your happy home life, your social circle, popularity, looks, or income. It doesn't care if you have everything figured out or your life put together. You could be the smartest kid in the class, or most talented person in your family. Mental illness doesn't care.</div>
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I'm trying to realize, these things about me, they make me unique. These things that I think make me less beautiful, are really just the opposite. When I started to realize that these self doubts were a side effect of mental illness, it was easier to fight against, because mental illness is a liar, and I don't believe liars.</div>
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I want to love myself, and I'm slowly learning just how to do that. It's a process, but I know it's possible as long as I try. I loved myself once, just how I was, and I can do it again, and so can you.</div>
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-Tori Lynn</div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-39440739571309028022017-10-13T02:03:00.000-07:002017-10-13T02:03:25.658-07:00On a Date With Anxiety Dating with anxiety comes with some complications, things that those who suffer from anxiety, have come to know as normal. The self doubt and questions come first. Over analyzing everything, and you find yourself trying to plan out the entire day in hopes to make sure everything goes right.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJly2ytaMMg9kI-9fONLf7H7LplKaWcHngmDHQ7m2EfpBXWaMaXbyeAu3E1lLQsN1ANjhujRL-kn2JUNzqa2ZcymCX5i9U1bo0FZ1DZmA9RMlDpHs6PvPWo_ySoQNSzgDiMm2lNelBOvm7/s1600/mike-wilson-406441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJly2ytaMMg9kI-9fONLf7H7LplKaWcHngmDHQ7m2EfpBXWaMaXbyeAu3E1lLQsN1ANjhujRL-kn2JUNzqa2ZcymCX5i9U1bo0FZ1DZmA9RMlDpHs6PvPWo_ySoQNSzgDiMm2lNelBOvm7/s320/mike-wilson-406441.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Kwh6Hayr8l0?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Mike Wilson</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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The worst part for me is always waiting to meet. As a woman, I'm usually the one waiting to be picked up, or if we are meeting somewhere, I always make sure to get there very early to be sure I can find the place, and be there first, so I'm not late. Anxiety ties my stomach in knots, my heart pounds, my mouth goes dry. I pull at my clothes, pick at my nails, bite my lips, cheeks, tongue, but I'll stop myself in an attempt to keep it all internalized. I don't want to look like I'm having anxiety... that would just give me more anxiety.<br />
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Once I meet my date, these things don't go away, but they at least stop building. Now I just have to fight them off so I can maybe enjoy myself a little? That is what we're out for, right?<br />
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That's the crazy thing about dating with anxiety. Dates are supposed to be a fun way to get to know someone, yet somehow they're more stressful than they are fun for us who struggle with anxiety.<br />
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I've had some dates not even happen because of my anxiety. I'll make plans, and we'll both agree on something that we'd both be interested in doing. The plans are made, the time and day is set, but it's a few days away. Sometimes I think, if I give myself enough time, I can prepare myself, but in reality, my anxiety gets a hold of that time and slowly starts to makes it's way into my thoughts. The anxiety builds over the course of that time and finally I can't take it anymore. I can't even call them, I shoot them a text. "I'm really sorry, I had completely forgotten I had previous commitments. Another time?" I'm not trying to be rude, and I feel bad for lying, but how do you explain that my anxiety is so bad that I just can't seem to go through with this? "It's not you, it's my anxiety."?<br />
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Anxiety has always told me, that if I tell them it's due to anxiety, they wont want to reschedule, and I really do want to try again. I want to be able to do these things, go on dates, meet people and get to know them. It's just so hard sometimes.<br />
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Some people just don't understand. These aren't nervous butterflies, they are hornets. What I'm feeling is not a mixture of excitement. I am scared of what I cannot control, all the what ifs.<br />
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Even with anxiety, I've had my fair share of successful dates and they did help me realized that you don't have to be in control of everything for things to go well. In fact, you can't possibly be in control of it all. Learning to accept these things is hard, because anxiety like all mental illness, is a liar.<br />
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For those who's love lives don't get enough freedom due to anxiety, my advice would be this: breathe. Breathe through it and focus on this.<br />
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They don't notice those little things you're so worried about. Your hair looks great, your outfit fits you nicely. Your conversation is good, your stories are interesting and they probably think you smell really nice. You don't need to control everything, so let it go how it goes. Easier said than done, trust me I understand that, but walk yourself through affirmations if you have to.<br />
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If you do not want to go on a date, <i style="font-weight: bold;">don't</i>. Date's are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to be enjoyable and if you find yourself having too much anxiety about it, the please do what is best for your mental health. It's okay to reschedule, or put dating on hold until you are ready. Make decisions for you, because it's about you.<br />
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It might never be easy, but don't give up hope. Eventually you will figure out just what you need to do to go on a date with anxiety.<br />
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-Tori LynnTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-65046876111282652602017-10-11T00:21:00.000-07:002017-10-11T14:36:46.592-07:00Coming Out Day Today is national coming out day, which can be very scary for those who plan on using this day as an opportunity to talk to friends and family about their sexual orientation or gender identity. I wanted give some suggestions for those who plan on coming out today, or any other day, and some encouragement for those who don't feel like now is their time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjK-Gl45KiSEyBuNVAM8KrvbroD7e4ImdSslHQOCWaU48U1JGTcEtBUp1_PiLqfsBi7vIqPha9xiQpS7zj8vaCvb3pLExpG2ytg8-5Dy1LcMFc4lB_Z_Kvuvyu12VsxBD2WTd5bLcsZIV/s1600/peter-hershey-282615.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjK-Gl45KiSEyBuNVAM8KrvbroD7e4ImdSslHQOCWaU48U1JGTcEtBUp1_PiLqfsBi7vIqPha9xiQpS7zj8vaCvb3pLExpG2ytg8-5Dy1LcMFc4lB_Z_Kvuvyu12VsxBD2WTd5bLcsZIV/s200/peter-hershey-282615.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/ZPebSsjilFw?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Peter Hershey</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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If you're planning on coming out, I want to say that I am proud of you. It takes a lot of courage.</div>
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First thing you should be sure of before coming out, is that you are in a safe environment. It's very important that you are not in an unsafe situation by coming out. This includes physically and emotionally. If you do not think you are in a safe situation, please do not come out. Your well being is the most important thing here.</div>
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Make sure you are personally ready. Even if you feel your loved ones will be accepting, you need to be positive that you're ready to do this now. Everything has it's time and it's okay to wait if you want to.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSVW0iAuIFXmnKRmCEtWvyoLunnitB1PJEHleSLqO1UDqCTRNDj5uxLNLCDWn37Z9aGTY2dwP2zGsRxmSJcTzDQde60DZ261Of2tS5OuQM2R9pcv3p3gRnThqW9WLBt0IxTnf04rjsZofO/s1600/matthew-henry-284087.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSVW0iAuIFXmnKRmCEtWvyoLunnitB1PJEHleSLqO1UDqCTRNDj5uxLNLCDWn37Z9aGTY2dwP2zGsRxmSJcTzDQde60DZ261Of2tS5OuQM2R9pcv3p3gRnThqW9WLBt0IxTnf04rjsZofO/s200/matthew-henry-284087.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/HIDx1jXz8tA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Matthew Henry</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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When coming out, do so with sincerity, and pure intentions. If they don't understand, try to help them, and be honest. </div>
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If you don't feel you aren't ready to come out, don't be discouraged. I know that days like this can make you feel left out, but everyone has their moment. Just because this one isn't yours doesn't mean it wont happen fo<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">r you. You will get there in your own time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>Here's a fun coming out video for you to watch</u></b></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/z3ECU6xtp68/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z3ECU6xtp68?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><b>LGBTQA+ Support Hotline</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">One-on-one conversations and completely confidential.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><u>Toll-free</u><br /><b>1-888-843-4564</b></span><br style="text-align: center;" /><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;"><u>Hours:</u><b>Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 9pm, <span style="position: relative;">pacific time</span></b><i>(Monday thru Friday from 4pm to midnight, <span style="position: relative;">eastern time</span>)</i><br /><br /><b>Saturday from 9am to 2pm, <span style="position: relative;">pacific time</span></b><br /><i>(Saturday from noon to 5pm, <span style="position: relative;">eastern time</span>)</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://www.glbthotline.org/" target="_blank"><b>More LGBTQA+ Support</b></a></i></span></span></div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-76642825670792811212017-10-10T00:23:00.002-07:002017-10-10T19:58:40.170-07:00Dear Past Self - Ricardo Yague<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxdSaWNFdlWZ9LI0W2bIIR3YXKKbz3hyphenhyphenRALVGazvEY8p4v6vGzPFZY8k-Gz4PuQwUJUrqD5crLqMTBwhgXcQVWoKn6YMfdlAbCpjLGmrWNBJ35BFFMR5K5Wx_lDiUs5fKQt6TuMpyePTVw/s1600/rawpixel-com-192251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxdSaWNFdlWZ9LI0W2bIIR3YXKKbz3hyphenhyphenRALVGazvEY8p4v6vGzPFZY8k-Gz4PuQwUJUrqD5crLqMTBwhgXcQVWoKn6YMfdlAbCpjLGmrWNBJ35BFFMR5K5Wx_lDiUs5fKQt6TuMpyePTVw/s320/rawpixel-com-192251.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/FmlzWQU1FNY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">rawpixel.com</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear past self,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How are you doing? How is school going? Are you smiling enough? Are you in love with somebody? I know this questions mean nothing to you, since in this night, my 13</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7.199999999999998pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> birthday, you’re planning on killing yourself. I still remember that moment, the feeling of the rope, the knot you did and where you hung the rope. But I know that is not the answer, you could ask “how can you be sure about that?”, for which I’d reply: “I am here”.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I understand, school mornings aren’t fun, after-school evenings aren’t fun, spending the weekends alone isn’t fun. And they are not fun because of the hatred I have accumulated towards myself. I remember how nights were spent fantasizing about death, about stripping away the only thing </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">you thought had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. But I am sure that’s not the only thing you have, you can ask “are you talking about my grades?”, for which I’d reply: “no, you have everything and more, but you don’t have yourself”.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because the night is scary, turn the lights on; because being alone is overwhelming, go out with your friends; because you have fought with mom, talk to her and try to understand. There are so many things I want to be able to fix, but now I can’t, I’m only capable of making them a part of myself and be sentient about them. Regrets, I have many, but I have more opportunities. Remorse, I have it, but I have more hope. Pain, I feel it, but there is more peace in me, now.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your throat will hurt when you try to remember that night, it has been four years and mine still does. Your eyes will still water when the images flash back. You will have to swallow dry every time you think about it, just as you swallowed your thoughts and feelings.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The thing about me that I appreciate the most now is my voice, because with my voice I’ve made friends, because with my voice I’ve talked to my boyfriend, because with my voice I’ve thanked mom and dad because of all the things they have done for me, because with my voice I’ve been able to reclaim who I was and am, and because with my voice I’m able to proclaim who I want to be. The thing I hate the most now are just the hot days, I can’t stand them, but that’s something without importance.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will update you on what has happened this last four years: nights have become scarier, but I stuff my face in the pillow and ignore the imaginary horrors, they still frighten me. I discovered I liked boys, too, and that I can basically like anything human (seriously). I discovered I’m better at writing than making music, but I read less. I changed school, to that school in the way home you like so much, it’s perfect. I gave my first kiss, on my 17</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7.199999999999998pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> birthday, it was awesome, lips feel incredible. I had my first couple, it was a dude, older than you, we broke up in a sad way, but I try not to hate him. I am still alive.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For every dark night you spend, there will be a bright morning. For every smile you fake, there will be two true ones. For every friend you lose, another even better will come. For every test you fail, you will succeed three more. For every tear you shed, you will laugh ten times. And for every hot day, one cold evening will come, and you will absolutely love it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, after all the pros, do you still want to do it? Are you still comfortable with putting it to an end? If you do, keep reading: I just finished high school, not with the best grade, not with the best body, nor with the best happiness. But I finished it with the best friends, the best hopes and the best intentions. And I’ll reveal some secrets to you: your dream of leaving the country actually happens, just keep fighting, a lot of girls and guys actually like you, dad likes a lot the stories you write, the English teacher loves your knowledge on the language, there are now more lady friends than guy friends, like in the old times, I’m still recovering, but now I am full on it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s okay to be girly, you look cool when acting manly, nobody cares about your fat, everyone still calls you “Yagüe” with love, you’re more open to your parents, you love your family ten times more, grandpa had a stroke but you love him even if he can’t talk or move by his own, you have two nephews now but Diego (middle brother), their father, is nowhere to be found, Elisa (step-sister) also had a baby and he’s awesome, Daniel (friend) moved to the US but you still talk to him, now you live in Caracas, with dad, the country’s situation has become worse, but the end of the tunnel is near and good news can be heard, just believe in them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You still like music, maybe even more than ever, you enjoy writing a lot, and are participating in some contests, you like your smile now, your pride flag stands beautifully, your pants fit right and people smile when around you.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m not the great person I want to be yet, but the process is fully on march.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tomorrow morning will be bright and warm.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With love, you.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Ricardo</span></div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-44100686279324093112017-10-10T00:15:00.001-07:002018-01-08T14:43:25.687-08:00"How Do I Save You From Yourself?"<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;" id="id_6ffd_1052_e00e_7f5f"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj5b1VHBbiY78oSym8BX7YV52ruoiu1Iuc8kWkGgPGXJYwOeqziSYhyphenhyphen3jgLL9TDDM_6W83XuAJmeMKtVgOhc57Mg4S6Tw4QqnQyYPyJbJc4fYj_09dGi2_kBUHJPpjQkyjY66Wic6-YE2K/s1600/eli-defaria-9978.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj5b1VHBbiY78oSym8BX7YV52ruoiu1Iuc8kWkGgPGXJYwOeqziSYhyphenhyphen3jgLL9TDDM_6W83XuAJmeMKtVgOhc57Mg4S6Tw4QqnQyYPyJbJc4fYj_09dGi2_kBUHJPpjQkyjY66Wic6-YE2K/s320/eli-defaria-9978.jpg" width="320" id="id_94f9_8030_8bc6_ada6" style="width: 320px; height: auto;"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/b-YmNNAxcYE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Eli DeFaria</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
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<br> "How do I save you from yourself?" he asked me, his tone was challenging. He knew I didn't have an answer for him, not then at least.<br>
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He didn't have to walk out on me like he did. The second he found out, he left and, I never saw him again. As wrong as it was, the way he handled himself, he had a point. How did I expect him to save me from my demons when they live inside me? Sure, he was just trying to make excuses for being a coward and treating me with a huge lack of respect, but that sentence still haunts me. "How do I save you from yourself?"<br>
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I didn't have an answer for him then, but if I could tell him now, I'd tell him... <b><i>"I didn't expect you to save me, I expected you to stand by me while I saved myself."</i></b><br>
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I didn't ask him to put me back together or to heal me. He didn't even give me the opportunity to talk to him about what I needed, he simply didn't want to deal with me and he ran.<br>
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I don't blame him, not everyone can handle dating someone who deals with such deep hurt, but he didn't have to walk out the door while I begged him to just come back in and hold me, talk to me, something. No, he just left, acted like he just couldn't deal with me.<br>
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He couldn't handle me, but he sure liked his hands on me. If I am, in his eyes, too mentally ill to date, he never should've tried to get me in bed afterwards, yet he still tried. "Friends with benefits." was his suggestion, but I just couldn't figure out how I would be benefiting me?<br>
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My desperate need for attention almost made me agree. I almost said yes, because I knew if I had nothing to offer him, he'd disappear for good, but I didn't. I couldn't.<br>
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I had cried myself to sleep, and replayed him finding out, over and over in my head too many times. The way he pushed me off of him, before leaving me standing in the door frame as I watched him get in his truck and drive away. I felt too much heartache, so I said no.<br>
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"You'll be missing out on a good thing." Is what he told me when I decided I didn't want to be friends with benefits. "You missed out on a good thing when you left me." was the only reply I could come up with.<br>
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I never expected him to save me, and I wish I could've had the chance to tell him that. I could do it by myself, but having him by my side to do so would have been nice. It would've been nice to have support, even if it was just friendship, but he didn't offer any.<br>
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I don't need anyone else to save me, in fact I don't think anyone else could, even if they tried. It's not something someone else can just take away. I'm not broken in need of fixing, I am hurt and in need of healing, and that's something only I can provide for myself.<br>
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Finally, that sentence doesn't haunt me anymore. I finally got my answer, even if it's a little late. I'm stronger now, and I've figured out who I am. I haven't won the war yet, but I've been kicking some major ass in these battles.<br>
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Don't worry about who's going to save me, I've got me covered.<br>
<br>
-ToriLynnTorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-63333267757531133852017-10-04T22:16:00.000-07:002017-10-04T22:16:04.924-07:00Hidden in the Pews<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Mental Illness and The Church</u></b></div>
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I would like to start off by saying, that I, myself, am a Christian. This blog topic is based on what I’ve personally seen when it comes to mental illness within the church.<br />
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I’ve noticed, that when it comes to mental illness within a church, people don’t talk about it much, and when they do, they tell you to pray about it. Prayer is good, and yes I believe there is power in it, but when your prayers for healing go unanswered, there needs to be encouragement from the church, to further your search in getting help. It’s okay to seek help somewhere else, while also praying and getting the comfort you need from God.</div>
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Some churches aren’t open to the idea of professional help, others provide their own counseling with trained professionals on staff. It varies in denominations and beliefs, however the fact still remains that there’s a lack of discussion of mental illness.</div>
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God has a hand in everything that can potentially better your life. God places people on this earth, who dedicate their professional lives to helping people with mental illness. It's okay to get help. It's okay to reach out and it's okay to not have everything together. Professional help might just be God's answer to your prayer. He does, in fact, work in mysterious ways.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKb_cz9WhC-QOPUFE_XArNMsV68oIonUp0sx64suMTPOA_j5-uLLivtnncJ3boNviyszhSEuaWp1oBi_gKSF3aSos7ksR9atD0-SbO0NUhyWSWaKmwqPb81APid69oKh1z-ZEba36WqvMS/s1600/ben-white-165045.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKb_cz9WhC-QOPUFE_XArNMsV68oIonUp0sx64suMTPOA_j5-uLLivtnncJ3boNviyszhSEuaWp1oBi_gKSF3aSos7ksR9atD0-SbO0NUhyWSWaKmwqPb81APid69oKh1z-ZEba36WqvMS/s200/ben-white-165045.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Some churches try to hard to look like they have everything together, however as a community we need to understand that humans aren't perfect. Life affects us Christians just like it affects anyone else. We have to get this idea of "perfect Christians" out of our heads, because if you cannot accept that people need help, how are you supposed to heal them?<br />
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You are not a bad Christian if you struggle. You are not a bad Christian if you seek help from someone in addition to your prayers.<br />
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Your mental health is important and should be taken care of. No God of ours wants you to suffer if it can be helped, and it can be.<br />
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It's time to talk about mental illness within our churches. It's time to make this discussion normal and okay. It's time to help heal our fellow believers and encourage them through their dark times.<br />
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-ToriLynn</div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-72470908440800254402017-10-04T20:16:00.004-07:002017-10-04T20:16:41.106-07:00Unstressful School - Ricardo Yague<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> One of the main things I have seen that stress people and could cause a relapse in your illness is studying. Going to school and keeping up with the pace can be extremely stressful and induce in yourself feelings of anxiety because of overload, or depression because of the feeling of not meeting the standards. But the main point here, and the focus I want to put in, is that you shouldn’t drop out from school, finishing high school will be helpful for your life and you really need that education, but, do I have to sacrifice my mental health for education? Absolutely no! There are ways to succeed in school, or simply learn a lot of stuff, without actually getting stressed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">disclaimer: I didn’t study in the US and I’m not particularly familiarized with the educational system of there, I will give tips that are mostly universal, if you don’t believe they fit your school or educational program, or can’t be applied, I encourage you to oversee them.)</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWKm2gAz6QzVZ8RA0t09c56Qkir4U1F5ULPYc3tg9IjzDfxznxKCK9DN5DCDnP_QbM-fW1baWwXE59uQONIQG1sbuLon0ovQft5dA-d01p0NpPK54uIUikFHM06CVd1I77bWEn16CV01av/s1600/green-chameleon-21532.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWKm2gAz6QzVZ8RA0t09c56Qkir4U1F5ULPYc3tg9IjzDfxznxKCK9DN5DCDnP_QbM-fW1baWwXE59uQONIQG1sbuLon0ovQft5dA-d01p0NpPK54uIUikFHM06CVd1I77bWEn16CV01av/s320/green-chameleon-21532.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/s9CC2SKySJM?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Green Chameleon</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First of all:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Grades aren’t the most important thing of all.</span></div>
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</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the end, grades become something that people will overlook, your school degree will be more important. More important than grades are knowledge, so studying focusing completely on the grade is not the correct approach. Study trying to learn the material, it’s alright to not be able to recite it perfectly, it’s better to understand what you know and be able analyze it and apply it to a daily basis.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manage your time</span></div>
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</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Time is a valuable and finite resource, meaning that your project due in three days will BE due in those three days and you can do nothing to change that. Mental illnesses take lot of time out of your day, but it IS possible to invest your time, the one you spend in overthinking or reflecting, into time to learn and discover. While you overthink, try to redirect those thoughts to how the West colonized the whole world or how the Middle East is the birthplace of civilization, when you are reflecting redirect those thoughts onto philosophical questions, maybe you can be the next Plato.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">PD: learn about the Pomodoro method</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Read, a lot</span></div>
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</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Reading is an excellent way to get knowledge, and it can be even more fulfilling than attending school, but watch out for the assistance record. Reading can help you understand a lot better about arts in general, biology, history, geography, chemistry, physics, and maybe even math! Also, don’t just stop at books related to school, read stuff that they don’t teach you at school. If you want to do multiple things at once, listen to audiobooks while exercising or doing a different activity than studying.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Organize your stuff</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Organization is really useful, specially to not lose track on your stuff. Keeping everything organized, color-coded or scheduled will be extremely useful to know when your assignments are due, what parts of the lecture are important to know and the such. There are plenty of apps for school organization and tracking purposes.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Study with somebody</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t study alone, if you can study with someone, it doesn’t matter if they’re older, they can help you solve doubts with your work or orientate you. It doesn’t even have to be someone actively studying, you can study while your parents or siblings watch TV, you can form study groups with your friends, too. Also, this kind of activities will improve your relationships!</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ask your teacher</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you have doubts or problems with any part of your homework or studying material, your teachers will be the best persons to ask to. Just approach assertively and respectfully, they will be willing to respond to your questions, it’s their job anyways. Try not to ask them while their doing heavy work, they are not in their most clear moment, and may even have a mistake while answering. Also, avoid asking them immediately before the test or the day before a due assignment. Thee better timing is instantly after they gave the assignment. This can also give you more chances to get a better grade, since they’ll be aware that you had trouble, but that you are willing to learn and improve.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Get more sources</span></div>
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</ol>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-a376e81a-ea84-f882-d020-c498ceb375ef"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes, materials handed out by the teachers can be confusing and written in a really intricate way, thus confusing you. You can search online and get tons of materials, some more explanative and comprehensive than others. Make sure that they actually stay on subject!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>-Ricardo Yague</b></span></div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-9134441235624699272017-10-03T00:01:00.000-07:002017-10-03T00:01:03.744-07:00I Choose Recovery<div style="text-align: center;">
Depression is not a choice.</div>
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Anxiety is not a choice.</div>
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Mental Illness is not a choice.</div>
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Recovery is....</div>
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With all the things in this life that we have absolutely no say in, recovery is one thing that we have the option to choose for ourselves. It is not something that comes to us, and like most things we want, you have to work for it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDpvMOI9p0BTehI7PQn2IJvHBB5B0klZFPegujlIDBm2zUw2FQ97AQxnHpjtghdOSesm1eD0sKwQkapdYqI3B-xiZ-xa0iWbOo-14WVh-oOSIvBcUI-adfWYK-W973OzSupUT4H9-b0S9/s1600/farhan-siddicq-200523.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDpvMOI9p0BTehI7PQn2IJvHBB5B0klZFPegujlIDBm2zUw2FQ97AQxnHpjtghdOSesm1eD0sKwQkapdYqI3B-xiZ-xa0iWbOo-14WVh-oOSIvBcUI-adfWYK-W973OzSupUT4H9-b0S9/s200/farhan-siddicq-200523.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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It doesn't seem fair, that we don't get a choice in whether we deal with mental illness or not. Unfortunately we can't stop it from happening, however we can overcome it. Just because you're dealt a bad hand, doesn't mean you can't win the game, you just have to choose to play it with everything you've got.</div>
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Understanding that recovery is a choice is very important. I've had people tell me that I'm lucky to be where I am in my recovery, and it didn't sit well with me. I didn't choose anxiety, I didn't choose to be so overwhelmed and to feel so worthless that the only relief I felt was when I turned to self harm. I didn't choose this, but I chose my recovery, and every day that I get up, I have to choose it all over again.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpLEDmSUubBagMpDn96rjqLGcWhOIvsmiiHF_QGP775EsUXT_m7b2cP9Aecgx3y1NoWYLJ6gr3WyVN5aaxXX9wpapXb4jN0bWSRlxBwTAVHXeHSjYtVB0w25o3QmoEmHMeE2Kt5qNFTTPY/s1600/stephen-baker-391769.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpLEDmSUubBagMpDn96rjqLGcWhOIvsmiiHF_QGP775EsUXT_m7b2cP9Aecgx3y1NoWYLJ6gr3WyVN5aaxXX9wpapXb4jN0bWSRlxBwTAVHXeHSjYtVB0w25o3QmoEmHMeE2Kt5qNFTTPY/s200/stephen-baker-391769.jpg" width="200" /></a> Everyone who deals with mental illness fights a battle daily. You're on the defense trying to keep your inner demons at bay. When you choose recovery though, you choose to take the offence position. You choose to challenge your mental illness and take back your life.</div>
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One of the things mental illness does, is cause us to feel a significant lack of control over what's going on in our lives. Whatever your situation might be, recovery is possible and you have control over it.</div>
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Recovery isn't easy. I mentioned before that it's something that you have to choose every new day. You have to acknowledge that there are going to be struggles you haven't encountered yet before. There will be hard times, and even times where you don't fee like you're getting anywhere, but the thing about recovery, is if you are trying, you are winning. </div>
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Your recovery will always look different than someone else's, and that's how it's supposed to be. Your story wont be quite like anyone else's, so remember not to compare yourself. </div>
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Do your best, and don't expect too much of yourself right away. You're human, you're healing, and you need to take care of yourself.</div>
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It's time to make a choice. Do you fold? Or are you all in? Do you stay on the defense? Or is it time to bring out the offence? That's up to you. As for me? I choose recovery.</div>
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-ToriLynn</div>
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<span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/pVdnlXajLqQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Farhan Siddicq</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/S1Dsb1vinwE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Stephen Baker</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-79771683154344407312017-09-30T21:40:00.000-07:002017-09-30T21:40:04.389-07:00Mental Illness in Men<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdok64anP73-wx1lWALOmglRjEpCSAy5CsVOxBUc3xAgMKyrD1g3SSo7peI8IrjIlsovJDP70dnx2AtWVBVcdPlKX19Koi8DMNiUpKokEpNV_MAGUdFKpA-gOqn0580gmwy2Eto3Lj1Ek/s1600/nik-shuliahin-251237.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1044" data-original-width="1600" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdok64anP73-wx1lWALOmglRjEpCSAy5CsVOxBUc3xAgMKyrD1g3SSo7peI8IrjIlsovJDP70dnx2AtWVBVcdPlKX19Koi8DMNiUpKokEpNV_MAGUdFKpA-gOqn0580gmwy2Eto3Lj1Ek/s320/nik-shuliahin-251237.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Did you know, that although more women are diagnosed with common mental health problems than men, the rate of male suicide is significantly higher? This suggests that men are suffering with mental illness more than we are aware, and are not getting (or asking for) the help they need.<br />
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Statistics on men with mental illness are difficult to fully know, because many cases go unreported or undiagnosed. I believe this is because of the dangerous idea we teach boys from a young age.<br />
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"Men don't cry." "Man up." "Don't be such a girl." These things are used with such a negative undertone, in response to boys expressing normal human emotions, that it implies that these emotions aren't appropriate for them to be experiencing. Society forces boys and men to believe, that what they're feeling isn't valid, based solely off of their gender. This later evolves into a hidden shame around male mental health warriors, which should not exist.<br />
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For men under the age of 35, suicide is one of the leading causes of death and 74%, or roughly 4/5 suicides are men.<br />
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The fact is, mental illness affects anyone. No one chooses it, yet no one is immune to the possibility. This includes people of all genders, races, statuses, sexualities, religions and ages. We need to erase the idea within our society, that it is somehow a taboo thing, for men to experience pain, depression, anxiety, and hurt.<br />
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If you are a man (cis, or trans) suffering from mental illness, I want to tell you something very important. Your masculinity is not defined by how much you can keep to yourself. You are allowed to feel, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed to reach out. Seeking help does not make you weak, in fact it takes a lot of courage and strength to do so. You deserve recovery and what you going through is valid.<br />
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-Tori Lynn<br />
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<span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/BuNWp1bL0nc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Nik Shuliahin</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a>Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-66907634657725424652017-09-28T15:10:00.001-07:002017-09-28T15:20:27.456-07:00 Ricardo Yagüe - SLLY Partner<p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><img id="id_da6_15af_e20d_d7a8" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-b-c9xa1id04/Wc11poF8eLI/AAAAAAAAADU/qC_MWGfR4K47UHexJj8yF-eSFCpuGYEhgCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> First of all, I want to introduce myself: I’m Ricardo Yagüe, 17 years old and live in Venezuela. </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">I’ll be collaborating with Tori with the depression blogs. I self-diagnosed me with depression four years ago, when I was 13, and in this entry I will be talking about my stories and the impression I got from my illness.</span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"><br></span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> When I was 12</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> (late 2012)</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> I entered middle school, with good grades, a big classmates group and nice acceptance from my peers I started what had to be the worst period of my short life. </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">I’m not entirely when and why my depression hit me, but I do have some theories: first of all, I never had had a girlfriend nor kissed anyone, the school I was in was of a military regime (we had military uniforms, haircuts and schedules, plus the terrible and abusive discipline and hierarchy), I had a power spot within my class, but nobody</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> respected our authority (we were 4 “honored” students). All of that stuff distressed me a lot, and I was dragging a lot of discomfort from elementary school, with myself, my grades a</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">nd my attitude and personality. </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"></span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">When 2013 arrived, my feelings and emotions started getting darker, first trimester of 2013 was my peak performance in grades, plus the peak of my friendship with the girl I had a crush on, let’s call her Girl A. Near my birthday, on March 29, my mental stability started getting worse and worse. On my birthday, I</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> celebrated it with my mom and stepdad and Girl A, it was really fun, I may say that was one of the best birthday celebration I had, but when I got home, despite of the happiness of the celebration, I was feeling really down. That night, past 1am, I debated myself for almost an hour whether killing myself or not, I had the rope in front of me, I tied the knot, but was too scared to do it, I saw my friend’s faces, my mom’s and dad’s face, I saw them crying and I just couldn’t do it.</span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"><br></span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> Near the end of the school year, I started feeling better, then in eight grade (I was in seventh grade) I started exploring who I was and discovered I liked horror a lot, and also that I liked men better than horror, but I wasn’t homosexual, but bisexual indeed. I won’t specify how I discovered it because I’m not really sure myself, but no, it didn’t involve physical stuff with nobody. </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">On 2014 my relationship with my mom got to an unnerving point and I ended up making her cry, the country’s situation got worse and a lot of stuff was going on, however I convinced my mom to change myself to a different school, I was really excited when I exited eight grade and was ready to start ninth in a different, more interesting and tranquil school. However, during that summer I had a terrible paranoia attack, I had got really attached to horror stuff (videos, stories, </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">creepypastas</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">) </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">that my brain just couldn’t handle it. I broke down, wasn’t able to sleep with the lights off and panicked over hallucinations.</span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"><br></span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> When I started ninth grade in the new school I felt renewed, so many nice people to meet, made great friends and started telling some people I was bisexual. I felt relieved, I was in my comfort zone, I got enrolled in the Model of United Nations (google it) and it was great. Nevertheless, my depression didn’t disappear, but it wasn’t fixated, in came in waves, not regularly and not as deep as my first episode.</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> After ninth grade I entered high school (same school), did first and second year almost swiftly (we only have two years of high school) and now I’m graduated. </span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"><br></span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> 2017 has been a really mesmerizing year, I had my first boyfriend, my first kiss and my first time. It’s as like if all the little goals I had were accomplished all at once. I met Tori and a lot of new friends, I discovered about non-binary genders and got involved more with the community, that helped me clarify and understand that I was indeed a pansexual, and that I am gender fluid. Now I am more open with my parents and everybody, all my friends know I</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;"> a</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">m </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">pansexual and know I am gender fluid. I still have my depression, but I redirect the bad energy trough writing.</span></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></span></p><p class="s3" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> So, what did I learned about my story that can help you all? Easy:</span></span></p><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">The best way to fight depression is knowing yourself, understanding what triggers your episodes, internalizing </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">who you are and knowing your strengths and weaknesses.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">Open your mouth, speak, tell someone, my parents brushed it off and told me I was just sad, but it is important to tell people.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">Find something to do on your free time, especially if it requires deep thinking, or if it distracts you, one of the worst things you can do is to let yourself alone with your </span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">thoughts</span></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">Make friends and spend time with them, in eight grade I almost lived permanently during the weekends with my friends, that helped me a lot.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">Try discharging, trough that same activity you just found, your negative energy, and charge yourself a little bit.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your mental health over school, really.</span></span></span></div><div class="s5" style="text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8; margin-left: 36px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s4" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">• </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px;">If I killed myself today, I would make a lot of people sad, and they’ll mourn my death, because there are people that care, even if you don’t see them</span></span></span></div><p class="s6" style="text-align: start; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 1.8;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 14.399999618530273px;"><span class="bumpedFont15" style="line-height: 21.600000381469727px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I love you all and wish you the best. -Ricardo</span></span></p>Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-22284002374683772122017-09-26T20:29:00.001-07:002017-09-26T20:32:43.976-07:00Underneath The <i style="font-weight: bold;">Underneath Project</i> was created as a way to encourage people to be comfortable in their natural skin. To promote self love in women who have grown up in a society that has told them they have to fit a certain mold or reach for perfection to be considered beautiful.<br>
<br>
<u>Make up isn't the problem.</u> So many times I've seen people preach against make up, and their hearts might be in the right place, but make up isn't really the bad guy. Make up provides a way for people, women and men, to express themselves, and expression is never a bad thing. The problem here is societies standards for women, and the pressure it creates for women to conform to a specific type of look to be considered "beautiful". We are expected to apply make up daily to be "acceptable". However, we also aren't allowed to wear too much, otherwise we fall victim to criticism.<br>
<br>
I've been wearing make up since I was 12 years old. I always thought that make up was what women were supposed to do. I didn't know differently, and I've even been told by other female members of my family that I look <i>better</i> with make up. This contributed to my need to perfect my make up look. I was never satisfied though. It was never enough, until I realized it wasn't the make up that was the problem, but the way I see myself. By the age of 13 I never left the house without make up. For me, the idea made me so uncomfortable, I would compare it to the idea of leaving the house without clothes. Without make up, I felt naked, exposed, and indecent. <i>This is wrong.</i> No one should ever feel this way for simply not applying an optional product. At 19 and 20 I still didn't even feel comfortable enough with my skin to be around my boyfriend at the time, who I had been dating for a year, without make up on. I felt like if he saw me without it, I would become undesirable.<br>
<br>
I have struggled with acne for 10 years, and these past few years have been rough on my health. I fell ill back in 2015 and I've been on a downward spiral ever since. I'm often pale because of it and constantly tired, which results in dark circles under my eyes. Make up has helped me in these ways. It has kept my confidence up when I needed it to, but these things don't make me ugly, and make up shouldn't be the only reason I'm comfortable in my own skin. I don't need it to be beautiful, and neither do you.<br>
<br>
Our beauty is not defined by what we wear, weather make up or even clothes. Make up is a tool to accentuate your already beautiful features. It is supposed to be used to highlight your natural beauty, not cover you up. You are not a canvas that you paint on, but you are the art work and make up is your frame. You don't lose your value without it.<br>
<br>
Reshaping how we view ourselves is <b>not</b> an easy thing to do. With our whole lives being lived, and being told to think a certain way it might be a process, but I think learning to love yourself and be comfortable with your natural skin is something everyone should do. I'm still trying to get there myself. I'm now 21 years old and this is where my journey of self love begins.<br>
<br>
Remember, make up is not the problem. If you enjoy wearing make up, have fun with it! Use it to express yourself and get as creative as you want to. Just know that you don't need it to be desirable or beautiful.<br>
<br>
I'm proud of you all!<br>
-Tori Lynn XOXO<div><br></div><div><img id="id_317b_1d11_f9ae_52d8" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-WSd7ulD9C_I/Wcsbi1D5SxI/AAAAAAAAAC8/WFsOapIpSIY6N1pLM2uzhcFZiGn7bT0zgCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br></div>Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-35049813144774863172017-09-19T18:21:00.000-07:002017-09-19T18:21:25.489-07:00Self Love to Recovery<div>
I think the hardest part about recovery is realizing that you deserve happiness, just like anyone else does. This is why loving yourself is important. You have to want recovery for yourself before you'll be willing to take the necessary steps to getting there. However, this concept is not an easy thing to accomplish for those who are dealing with depression, anxiety, self harm, eating disorders, or other forms of mental illness. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Self love is often misunderstood. Loving yourself is not selfish, it is not conceited or wrong and it's okay. Truly loving yourself is understanding that even though there are going to be things we don't like about ourselves, we are still deserving to be comfortable in who we are. We deserve to recognize the good in ourselves.<br />
<br />
A lot of the time, people base their desire to recover around people, and although this is a good motivator, you have to be careful. Unfortunately, people can often times be temporary. People come and go in our lives and if we base our desire to recover, around a person, we may lose motivation if they don't stick around. I've dealt with this personally. I used to wrap my happiness up in people, so when they left, I would fall apart. I've realized I have to have the mindset that <i>I'm</i> worth recovering for, just as much as I found them to be.<br />
<br />
It's your life, your emotions, and your well being that you're trying to gain control over, so naturally it's <i>you</i> who deserves this.<br />
<br />
What you deal with, isn't your fault. That is another thing people need to understand. Mental illness is not your fault, and you don't deserve to struggle and suffer from it.<br />
<br />
Learning to love yourself is a process, and that process starts with wanting it. If you want to get there, if you want to be happy, and if you want to take your life back, then congratulations, that is your first accomplishment. Like every process, it will take time, and it might be difficult. There will be moments where you feel like things aren't going in the right direction, but recovery isn't just a straight line upwards. Recovery consists of set backs, relapses, ups, downs, circles and squiggly lines all over the place, however, if you get back up and try again, you're on the right track. I guarantee your recovery wont look like someone else's. Your path is specific to you, so please don't get discouraged. As long as you are trying your best, you are doing great.<br />
<br />
I am so proud of you. You have potential and you are going to be okay.<br />
<br />
-ToriLynn</div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-16250318202575054262017-05-22T21:55:00.006-07:002017-05-23T10:05:54.173-07:00Forgiveness & Apologies<div class="MsoNormal">
Forgiving someone who has hurt you, and apologizing when
you’ve hurt others can both be difficult. Letting go of the pain someone has
caused you takes time, and requires a healing process. Apologizing takes a lot
of courage, because no one ever likes to admit they were wrong. A lot of the
time, these things don’t get done. People don’t apologize and therefore, there
is no forgiveness. So many people hold their pride closer than their respect
for other people with results in other people holding grudges.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Apologies</span></u></b><br />
For me, I tend to apologize for everything. When I’m in the way, if someone says “excuse me” as they try to get past me I will apologize. These are what I call courtesy apologies. Not everyone uses them, but I know I do. These are different than admitting when we are wrong though.<br />
Apologies need to be genuine. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “I’m
sorry”, but didn’t truly feel like it was an honest one. That’s why sometimes
it is difficult to forgive people even if they apologize, because sometimes, we
just don’t feel it.<br />
<br />
Apologies won’t always get us what we want though. In some situations, they
just aren’t enough to warrant second chances. This goes for both us giving and
receiving apologies. Though, often times we are forgiven, and get to move on in
the right direction with people, no one is obligated to let us back into their
lives, and you are not obligated to let someone back in either. I have, on many
occasions, had to explain to people that, although they are sorry, and I forgive
them, I won’t be putting myself back, in a position, to be hurt again. Looking
out for yourself is okay and sometimes it’s just what we need to do. If you’re
ever in a situation where someone gets upset or angry that you won’t give them
a second chance, just know it’s okay. Not everyone is going to understand. Just
do what is best for you and try to move on.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Forgiveness</span></u></b><br />
Forgiving someone for hurting you can be difficult, in fact I still carry a few
things around that I haven’t forgiven people for just yet. I’m getting there,
but it is a healing process like I mentioned before. How quickly someone
forgives is not only determined by the amount of pain caused, but determined by
the person who was hurt and their ability to accept what happened and move on. <br />
<br />
Despite popular belief, forgiveness isn’t for the person who hurt you, it’s for
you. Because holding onto the hurt people cause gets us nowhere. It’s an
endless cycle and going without forgiving makes us relive the pain. It’s not
about if the person who hurt you deserves the forgiveness, it’s about you moving
forward and letting go of that pain. It’s about you taking control of your
emotions and your mind and doing something about a situation you were faced
with. So ultimately, forgiveness is for you. For yourself to find peace of mind,
and you deserve that.<br />
<br />
Sometimes it takes awhile. I don’t expect anyone to get hurt and immediately
say “I forgive you” and move on. That’s not a realistic mindset. I know how
difficult it can be to forgive someone who has hurt you.<br />
<br />
I’ve had to forgive many people I my life, because if I didn’t, It would have
destroyed me. The worst feeling is holding onto something for too long, so long
even, you can’t remember what it was like not to hate them or what they’ve
done. I personally can’t say I hate anyone. It would take quite a lot to get
that sort of reaction out of me, but even so, I can say I’ve had immense dislike
for a few people. I’m not perfect, and there are a few people I’m still working
on forgiving, but that’s the key, actually working on it. Not letting yourself
fall into the mindset of “This is how its going to be” for the rest of your
life.<br />
<br />
Not everyone will understand the importance of forgiveness either. If you’ve
done something that you’ve apologized for, yet this person doesn’t forgive you,
try to understand, some people don’t have it in them to let go. You’ll need to
find a way to forgive yourself for what it is you did. People make mistakes,
and sometimes the consequences of our actions hurt, but even when we are sorry,
there are still consequences. Sometimes there is nothing we can say or do to
change some ones mind, whether about forgiveness or about second chances. We
just have to accept this and move on, because dwelling on it won’t fix it.<br />
<br />
There’s a lot to forgiveness and apologies. So much, I’m afraid I can’t cover
it all. All circumstances, situations and personal experiences are going to be
different. They’re all going to have their own individual aspects to them so I
can’t be specific to everything, but these are some general thoughts I have on
the subjects.<br />
<br />
<b>
My advice to you is this: </b></div>
<ul>
<li><i>Love yourself enough to forgive people, because holding onto grudges will only
hurt you.</i></li>
<li><i>Humble yourself enough to apologize when you are wrong, and forgive yourself.</i></li>
<li><i>Understand that being forgiven can take time and doesn’t guarantee second
chances.</i></li>
<li><i>Know that you are not obligated to give second chances if you forgive someone.</i></li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Tori Lynn<o:p></o:p></div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4419987051500290447.post-10728655386602366542017-05-20T01:04:00.001-07:002017-05-20T01:07:13.099-07:00Toxic People<div class="MsoNormal">
Most people, in their lifetime, will come across a few toxic
people. Whether family, friendships, or relationships. I’ve already encountered
my fair share and I’ve been starting to learn a lot on how to handle it.
Learning that I deserve better was the most difficult part, but also the most
important. I first needed to value myself before I could understand where
things were going wrong with the company I kept. I gave too many second chances
to people who didn’t prove they deserved them. I used to hand them out freely,
regardless of how much people had hurt me. I gave everyone the benefit of the
doubt, and though in some cases that can be good and even appropriate, I wasn’t
using my discernment to figure out if these were those appropriate situations.
I let myself get hurt over and over, letting the same people back in, just to
end up with the same results, when I should have been protecting myself.<br />
<i>(<b>Proverbs
4:23</b> “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your
life.”)</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not saying to never give someone a second chance, I’m
just saying to be careful of how many you hand out. I suggest, if you’re
considering giving someone a second chance, do so with caution determined by
the character they showed you previously.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is an aspect of manipulation to any toxic person or
relationship and this is why they are so harmful. Toxic people have a few
characteristics they can be identified by. Things to look out for include but
are not limited to some of these listed below.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Blamer:</u></b> They will often make you feel like every
argument, issue, or problem is your fault. Even if you can logically tell
yourself otherwise and have proof that they are the ones who created said
problem, they will still make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. They
most likely will not listen or agree with anything you are saying, even faced
with facts.<br />
<i>(<b>Proverbs
18:1 </b>“Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out a common
sense.”)</i><br />
They will not want to accept
responsibility for anything if they are able to pass the blame off to someone
else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The Insulter:</u></b> Back handed compliments are a very big sign
that this person is toxic. Something such as “That dress looks good on you, it
would look even better if you lost some weight.” These sorts of things tear
people down more than they build people up, yet it’s disguised as a
“compliment”. Don’t let yourself be fooled. Genuine compliments will leave you
feeling happy or confident.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>The User:</u></b> Some toxic people will use you. Only call when
they need a ride, and only hang out when you can provide it for them. Maybe
they need to use your printer and that the only time you ever get a call back.
We often feel obligated to do these things because in our minds, “that’s what
friends do” but in reality, if they do not make an effort in the friendship
outside of needing something, can you really consider yourself friends? Doing
favors for friends doesn’t mean you’re being used, but when these favors are
the only thing you seem to ever do with this friend, it may be time to start
asking where you stand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are so many different types of toxic people out there
and they come in varying degrees. The sad thing is, sometimes they are the
people we consider the closest to us. Using your discernment is the best way to
figure out, when it’s time to say, enough is enough. You deserve to be treated
with respect. We are only human and sometimes we give people too many second
chances. I know I have. When it comes down to it, though, we need to be able to
protect ourselves as well. Sometimes we need to be able to let go, and accept
that no matter how many chances someone is given, if they do not want to
improve themselves, nothing will change.<br />
<i>(<b>Proverbs
14:18</b> “If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace, if
you accept correction, you will be honored.”)</i><br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not our job to fix people, however, nor is it our job
to punish them. It is simply our job to do what is best for ourselves, and if
that means removing these people from our lives, then that is what you should
do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have had people act as if removing them from my life is a
punishment, do not let these types of people make you feel guilty. It is okay
to put yourself first when you find yourself in situations where it is necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have someone in your life that makes you feel
inferior when you’re around them, or sick when their name pops up on your
phone. If that person makes you feel used, self conscious, or even guilty for
things that were not your fault, then my advice to you is this: Evaluate the
situation, talk with this person if you haven’t already, and let them know how
you feel. If they do not seem apologetic for how their actions or words have
affected you, then it’s time to let go. It is okay to let go of people who you
feel, a continued friendship or relationship with, will not benefit you, or
could potentially cause you more harm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You deserve to be happy and loved in all your relationships.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1 Corinthians 15:33</b>
“Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for ‘bad company corrupts good
character.’”<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Proverbs 14:7</b>
“Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Tori Lynn</div>
Torihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15543813163796669844noreply@blogger.com0